Medium Lady Talks: Burnout Recovery for Millennials and Mothers

Episode 110: Feeling Lonely? A Book Review of The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer Healthier and Happier by Kasley Killiam

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is a review and critique of the book “The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer Healthier and Happier” by Kasley Killiam. This episode is designed to share a bit about the book, my major take aways, and a reflection on the key frameworks that might guide you to think differently about your connections. Are you a Butterfly, Firefly, Evergreen or Wallflower? Listen to find out!
Episode Summary
I’m going to review and apply the concepts from the newly published book The ARt and Science of Connection by Kasley Killiam
I share my review of the book, what I liked and what didn’t work for me
Killiam writes “Health connection with other people requires a health connection with yourself. Which includes: knowing yourself, caring for yourself, honoring your needs and bringing that authentic self into interactions with others.”
“Research has shown that lonely people tend to be hypervigilant in social interactions and more prone to focusing on the negative than the positive: more guarded, they have more self-doubt, they might feel more self-conscious and make more assumptions about their interactions.”
These realizations from the book have me asking: Are you lonely? (PS It’s totally ok and normal if your answer is yes)
Interactions as millennials and mothers might be laden with a lot more nuance and context that adds to this hypervigilance and monitoring of our interactions in a way that leads to self-criticism and more loneliness
Connection (even healthy positive connection!) will always require time and energy, yet time and energy usually feels like a scarce and precious resource for millennials and mothers
Is social health different for Millennials than other older generations? I think so!
I’ll share the four connection “personalities” outlined by Killiam: Butterfly, Evergreen, Firefly and Wallflower PLUS I couldn’t help but add a fifth personality of my own!
How do you know how to improve your relationships? There are 4 options: Strengthen, Rest, Tone and Flex
Once you gain awareness about the way connection meets your needs and how you want to improve your connections the hardest part is likely going to be taking action - and seeking connection from others to meet those needs - relying on others to respond to those needs: you can do it!
Other Episodes you might like:
Episode 109: Medium Lady Unfiltered: Three Truths About Motherhood Content on Instagram and TikTok
Episode 107: From Anxiety to Action - How to reclaim your mental headspace with guest and coach Madeline Farquharson
Episode 108: From Self-Neglect to Self-Care - Prioritizing your Needs with guest and coach Madeline Farquarson
Episode 83: Is your Self-Care Helpful or Harmful - A book review of “Real Self Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness” by Pooja Lakshmin MD.
Introverts and Extroverts with Handsome Face
 
Other Resources mentioned:
The Art and Science of Connection by Kasley Killiam - on Overdrive!
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads
 

Episode 109: Medium Lady Unfiltered - Three Truths About Motherhood Content on TikTok and Instagram

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is a first for the show: Medium Lady Rants? After being influenced by a few videos critiquing BookTok and the Beauty Influencer space it occurred to me that some of the problems in those spaces also exist in the motherhood content space. And I have a lot of thoughts about it! This episode is designed to give you some healthy skepticism about short form content that targets mothers, so you can avoid the shame and blame that can sometimes be triggered after a scroll session.
Episode Summary
Why do moms seek this kind of content in the first place? And why can it be harmful?
While we don’t need to call out or “cancel” any particular creator there are themes behind some of the content that is useful to pay attention to
I’ll talk about why I resisted embracing the “Mom” niche for so long
The “machine” of social media is not invested in our wellness at all - even if creators are doing their best to create intentional content
Ultimately, motherhood content on social media feels like it’s serving a need - if we’re aware of what those needs are we can be more mindful as we consume short form content. 
It’s crucial to remember that virality will always come before your mental health - and I’ll explain more about why this is the case.
What is rage baiting? And how does it work when it comes to short form content for mothers?
Remember your focus and attention is currency: creators will use your insecurities as the entry point to gain more of that currency as collateral you might find yourself being preyed upon for engagement.
I routinely reflect on the struggle I’ve experienced as a content creator to dabble with and mess around in some of the spaces that provide a straighter path to growth and virality and the cost of that would be my personal desire to help people and leave my audience better than when they found me.
Awareness of how this content can leave you in a shame and blame spiral is only good if it compels you to take ACTION - I’ll share my suggestions for how you can bring mindfulness and digital habits to your consumption of short form content (it’s easy I promise)
 
Other Episodes you might like:
Episode 107: From Anxiety to Action - How to reclaim your mental headspace with guest and coach Madeline Farquharson
Episode 108: From Self-Neglect to Self-Care - Prioritizing your Needs with guest and coach Madeline Farquarson
Other Resources mentioned:
The Opal App
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads

Episode 108: From Self-Neglect to Self-Care: Prioritizing Your Needs with guest and coach Madeline Farquarson

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is part two of my interview with Madeline Farquarson from Knomii. Madeline is a Certified Professional Coach and Co-Founder of Knomii. Her coaching and counseling practice helps self-aware and overwhelmed achievers reclaim their freedom and energy by reconnecting with themselves. As an anxious overthinker herself, she loves helping people trapped in their lives and heads start taking action and making decisions that put all that self-awareness to good use. The second part of our conversation describes safety, needs and how challenging it can be to gain awareness when we’re not able to address those needs. Make sure you head back to listen to Episode 107 for more of the conversation set up and aha moments!
 
Episode Summary
How important safety is to explore your emotional experience, and how a coach can hold the keys to that emotional safety
There’s a lot of highly consumable material out there on mental wellness: “psychological life hacks” and sometimes it can be exhausting to figure out how to put that knowledge to good use for your own relief.
Madeline describes a new way to think about your needs sharing the Sailboat Metaphor from Scott Barry Kaufman and how that can help us conceive more creatively about what we’re needing to manage our mental wellness
Madeline also describes using the Needs Wheel as a way of honing in on what might be going on when our psychological needs aren’t being met, but our physical or social safety is secure.
While we’re often conditioned to suppress our needs or compare them to others, Madeline reminds the audience “Your ability to take care of yourself, doesn’t take away from anyone else.”
If you’re interested in a hybrid group/1:1 course on Emotions from Madeline and Knomii you can sign up for the fall wait list HERE
Think about where you’re at in the cycle of awareness, acceptance and action - If you’re stuck in “awareness” think about moving in to the experimenter/observers mindset you can learn more in this YouTube Video
Connect with Madeline and Knomii:
Website: www.knomii.com 
Instagram: www.instagram.com/knomii.coach
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@knomii.coach
Free 30-min clarity call: https://savvycal.com/knomii/mediumlady
Join the waitlist for the Knomii Emotions course launching this fall
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads
 

Episode 107: From Anxiety to Action: How to Reclaim Your Mental Headspace with guest and coach Madeline Farquharson from Knomii

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is part one of my interview with Madeline Farquarson from Knomii. Madeline is a Certified Professional Coach and Co-Founder of Knomii. Her coaching and counselling practice helps self-aware and overwhelmed achievers reclaim their freedom and energy by reconnecting with themselves. As an anxious over-thinker herself, she loves helping people trapped in their lives and heads start taking action and making decisions that put all that self-awareness to good use. The first part of our conversation tackles the overlap between therapy and coaching and teaches us a very helpful lesson about the difference between fear, anxiety and overthinking. Make sure you’re following the podcast so you don’t miss part two of the conversation next week!
Episode Summary
Madeline shares why having a deeper sense of purpose and meaning is something that gets her out of bed in the morning
Listen for a great description on what coaching is, what coaching isn’t, what therapy is and what therapy isn’t - you’ve always wanted to know!
An exploration of the gap between therapy and coaching and how to bridge that for yourself and with your wellness team
Why therapy can feel unproductive at times - even when you’re working really hard!
Does self-awareness lead to burnout? Madeline and Erin both think so… but you need to reflect back on times when this might have been true for you.
The difference between core emotions and inhibitor emotions will change the way you think about your anxiety. 
Anxiety is an inhibitor emotion, it’s trying to inhibit your experience of a core emotion that you’ve learned is unsafe to feel
Overthinking is a defence emotion which tries to protect us from the discomfort and pain of inhibitory emotions or core emotions
Remember this: “Challenging emotions lead us to feelings of relief when we express them.”
 
Connect with Madeline and Knomii:
Website: www.knomii.com 
Instagram: www.instagram.com/knomii.coach
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@knomii.coach
Free 30-min clarity call: https://savvycal.com/knomii/mediumlady
 
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads
 

Episode 106: Six Things Saving My Summer

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is our quarterly “five things list” but instead of five things I’ll share SIX things that are saving my summer. You're going to love today's episode if you find, like I do, that at this point of the season, you're rushing trying to cram as much life as possible into every minute of every day. I don’t know about you but I need permission to slow down! And this kind of list, my favourite foods, apps, clothes and yes even a few mindset tricks, is just the ticket to getting out of those limiting beliefs and feeling the relief that a positive reframe can bring. This episode I’ll share the six things saving my summer, and I even got to share what YOU told me was saving your summer this year as well!
 
Thoughts and Musings
Lately I’ve just been feeling as thought I’ve been cramming more and more into the same amount of time
I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to figure out a way to slow down
This leads me to consider my limiting believe that “I don’t have enough time” and “I can’t slow down”
What makes your list of things saving your summer? Anything that you want more of, or the things you think you “should” be doing this summer
There’s no limit to what makes the list! Don’t edit or censor yourself - whatever ends up on your list is unique and applicable to you. 
Some of my summer fatigue comes from making lots of decisions in every day and some of the things on my list help to minimize over thinking and decision fatigue
The SIX Things
Amazon bike shorts under my favourite summer dresses
Treats and meals on auto-pilot - removing as many decisions as possible when it comes to eating and treats 
The Finch Self Care App - here’s my friend code! J16CFE2T4A
ALL of my Friendships - if you’re my friend, thank you for saving my summer - and if we’re in a group chat you are a real one
Getting 10K steps a day - it’s annoying but this really works
A new exercise to reframe my mindset around Limiting Beliefs
When I went to my stories on Instagram to hear from you - listeners! Here’s what you shared:
A big family road trip adventure
Confidence to operate the new barbeque
Living each day like it’s the BEST DAY EVER
EVA Birkenstocks in every colour
Lizard time - purposefully going outside to sit in the sun
Air dried hair
Backyard pool
Planning lunch ideas ahead of time to avoid getting in a rut
Moving my workouts to first thing in the morning and having time to read during the day
Other Episodes referenced
Episode 104 Part Two Four Questions to Free Yourself From Summer Stress
Episode 103: Part One Four Questions to Free Yourself From Summer Stress
 
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads
 

Episode 105: Five things I Learned Behind the Scenes of My First Event

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is a behind the scenes reflection on the five things I learned from hosting my very first event. Typically all episodes that end on the 5 I do my “five things saving my life” series but this episode is a switch up, 5 things I learned putting together the “Chase the Good” Event which happened live and in person on June 8! The event was incredible and surpassed all of my expectations. This episode I’ll break down a little of what it FELT like to plan, prepare and deliver on a huge (and public) step outside of my comfort zone.
 
Thoughts and Musings
In the last year I’ve felt my ideas and curiosity growing about putting together a paid offer
After speaking on a panel at the Healed Hearts Empowered Voices, hosted by Jam Gamble, and felt awed by the impact of an in person event
Jam challenged me on Instagram to host an event - and because of this external accountability I felt like I could follow through or I “had” to follow through
Then people who saw Jam on Instagram started asking me about my ideas for the event: when you speak things out into existence you engage other people in participating in your vision
“When you speak things out loud, you call other people in, to help you achieve your dreams”
Once the ball got rolling and people were aware that I was planning the event it started to come up in conversation and that allowed me the opportunity to receive encouragement, and advice and ideas from other people. This became a supportive context where I could do something outside of my comfort zone while feeling encouraged. 
Chasing the Good for me is about gratitude and presence while balancing the experience of being a millennial woman and mother. Understanding that we were heavily conditioned to want a specific kind of life and now coming of age to recognize that we’re not sure what we REALLY want, and what we’ve been taught to believe we want. Chasing the Good is about how to go after MORE of what you truly want, and to filter out what you’ve been conditioned to think you want.
The event was an incredible success with a great group of women
I had to do a lot of inner work to prepare myself to step outside of my comfort zone and share a paid offer with my audience
 
Things I learned
Picking a date is hard: Eventually I had to realize that there was no perfect date for the audience (especially busy women and mothers) and I had to go with the choices that felt right and easy to me.
Food is hard to plan for and will eat up your event margins: I ordered 50% more food than I needed! But even though food is hard to plan for it’s absolutely essential to make people feel cared for during the event.
Events are not for making money - at least not your first event! And even though making money wasn’t the goal for me, I was still curious to see what would happen from hosting a paid event.
Gift Bags are not a big deal and they make people really happy. Even though I spent way too much time overthinking what to put in the gift bag, they are an essential part of any future events that I might have.
Hosting your event comes hand in hand with a lot of hard work on your mindset. Thankfully with guidance and coaching from Siobhan France I was able to work on understanding this mindset. I gained trust that my offers will find the people they are for and the people they aren’t for are still served by other kinds of content that I offer. While I’ll still have to work on this for future offers, the barrier to entry is way lower now that I’ve built trust from this first experience.
 
What will I do with this package of content? WHere can I take it and modify it for other audiences? I’m going to wait and see before I decide but I do want to do SOMETHING with the content. If you have any ideas within you to share content and passion with an audience - You CAN do it, of COURSE you can. 
Other Episodes referenced
The Happiness Challenge with Ellen Wong
Episode 74 How to Be a Human with a Voice with Jam Gamble
 
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads

[BONUS] Medium Lady Reads Ep. 22 The BIPOC Reading Challenge with guest host Alesia Galati

Hello, hi! We know that the MLT main feed always enjoys a crossover episode with my sister podcast Medium Lady Reads (affectionately known as MLR). Enjoy this episode with guest host Alesia Galati from @wereadsmut on Instagram!
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Hello, Hi, and welcome to Medium Lady Reads this is episode 22, “The BIPOC Alphabet Reading Challenge with guest Alesia Galati.”
In this episode, Jillian and Erin welcome their first guest host, Alesia Galati! They’re discussing Alesia’s BIPOC Alphabet Reading Challenge.
Jillian and Erin would love it if you shared what diverse authors you’re reading! Be sure to tag them on Instagram, Jillian is @jillianfindinghappy and Erin is @medium.lady, or you can tag the show @mediumladyreads!
In This Episode:
Jillian welcomes Alesia to the episode. Alesia is the owner and founder of Galati Media, as well as podcast host of two shows, “Successful Podcasting Unlocked” and “Listeners to Leads.” In addition to being a fellow book lover. She is the co-creator behind We Read Smut on Instagram, a bookish account dedicated to those who like their books ranging anywhere from sweet to scorching. 
You can find Alesia on Instagram here, and you can find @WeReadSmut on Instagram here.
Alesia introduces herself. 
Learn how Alesia was reintroduced into the reading world.
All three women check-in on how their reading is going.
It’s time to talk about the BIPOC Alphabet Challenge and you can learn all about it by clicking here.
Alesia kicks-off the recommendations in this episode - tune in to hear all 26 recommendations from diverse authors. 
The women share what's on their holds list.
Books In This Episode:
A: Almost Maybes by Anna P. 
A: Against the Loveless World by Susan Abulhawa
B: Bad Guy by Kenya Goree-Bell
C: Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
D: Drop Dead Gorgeous by Lauren LandishE: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
F: Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley
G: Getting Schooled by Christina C. Jones
H: Honey and Spice by Bolu Babalola
I: In Every Mirror She’s Black by Lola Akinmade Åkerström
J: Just for the Cameras by Viano Oniomoh
J: Let Us Descend by Jesmyn Ward
J: The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
K: Kwarq by Nikki Clarke
K: Know My Name by Chanel Miller
K: The Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini
L: Leave the World Behind by Ruman Alaam
M: Much Ado about Nada by Uzma Jallaludin
N: Nightcrawling by Leila Mottley
O: On the Come Up by Angie Thomas
P: Persepolis by Marjane Strajapi
Q: Queenie & the Krakens by Aleera Anaya Ceres
Q: Q&A by Vikas Swarup
Q: Quicksand by Nella Larsen
R: Role Playing by Cathy Yardley
S: ShadowLands Omega by Elizabeth Stephens
T: Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi
V: V - Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas
V: The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
V: Venco by Cherie Dimaline
W: We Were Dreamers by Simu Liu
X: Xeni by Rebekah Weatherspoon
X: Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
X: XOXO by Axie Oh
Y: Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi
Z: Prize Money by Celeste Castro
Z: Anita de Monte Laughs Last by Xóchitl González
Z: Zora Books Her Happily Ever After by Taj McCoy

Episode 104: Four Questions to Manage Your Summer Stress Part 2

Hello, hi!
Welcome back to Medium Lady Talks! In this episode, I continues my deep dive into how to free yourself from summer stress with the final two of the four essential questions. Building on last year's insightful Episode 70, "My Life-Changing Hack for Having the Best Summer Ever," and the first part of this series in Episode 103, Erin provides practical advice to help listeners avoid becoming overwhelmed by summer's demands.
Episode Highlights:1. Name your Top Three Summer Experiences: Erin shares her top three personal summer experiences that she aims to enjoy. Emphasizing the importance of individual joy over imposed expectations, she encourages listeners to identify and prioritize their own key experiences for a fulfilling summer.   
2. How will you Find Rest this Summer?: Rest isn't just about sleep. Erin explores various forms of rest to recharge during the busy summer months.   
Erin's discussion revolves around the empowering quote, "In between stimulus and response there is a space. Within that space lies your ability to choose, and in that choice, you find your freedom." She encourages listeners to embrace freedom over perfectionism and make mindful choices to enhance their summer experience.
 Erin invites everyone to join her in-person workshop, "Chase the Good," on June 8th in Burlington, Ontario. This event will provide tools and strategies to help participants recognize and amplify the good in their lives. Tickets are available via the link!
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads

Episode 103: 4 Questions to Free Yourself from Summer Stress Part 1

Hello, hi!
Welcome back to another exciting episode of the podcast! Today, I'm revisiting the topic of summer stress, building on the success of last year's popular Episode 70, "My Life-Changing Hack for Having the Best Summer Ever." In Episode 103, I'll kick off the first of a two-part series dedicated to answering four crucial questions designed to help you avoid feeling reactive and overwhelmed by summer's endless tasks. So grab a cup of tea and your journal and get ready to say good bye to your summer stress.
In today's episode, we focus on the first two questions:1. What are you excited for this summer?2. What has you feeling exhausted this summer?
By addressing these questions, you can proactively manage your summer plans and emotions, ensuring a more relaxed and enjoyable season. This episode emphasizes the concept of choosing freedom over perfectionism when planning your summer activities.
Don't forget to stay tuned for Episode 104, airing on May 29th, where we'll tackle the remaining two questions:3. What are the top three experiences you'd like to have this summer?4. How will you rest this summer?
If you're local to Ontario, Canada I would love it if you join me at the Chase the Good workshop on June 8th, in Burlington Ontario. Tickets are still available! eThis in-person event is the perfect opportunity to connect, reflect, and embrace the best of what summer, motherhood and our every day lives have to offer.
Connect with Erin:
Instagram: @medium.lady
Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com 
Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
Instagram: @mediumladyreads

[REPOST] Episode 70: My Life Changing Perspective on Having your ”Best Summer Ever”

[Repost] This episode originally aired in May of 2023. 
 
Hello, hi! Today's episode features four KEY questions to ask yourself in order to "hack" your "best summer ever" (those quotation marks are important context I promise). I'm going to walk through those four questions and share my own answers so you have a sense of what's on my mind as I shift my perspective from being overwhelmed by Summer before it even starts, to feeling ready and excited to welcome the season.
Inspiration for this Episode:
Episode 313 of The Lazy Genius Podcast with Kendra Adachi “ Ten Questions to Plan your Summer”
How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
Other Episodes referenced:
Medium Lady Reads Playlist
Episode 50 Medium Effort Mindful Fun and My Origin Story
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Music is Climb by The Ghost in Your Piano. I'm grateful for its use via creative commons license.